A Lesson in Facial Recognition from The Dude
1. CONTEMPT
brow and upper lip lifted
How to cause this:
It doesn't take much. Wipe your mouth on your shirt, that should do it.
2. CONTROLLED ANGER
tightly shut lips, flared nostrils, eyes squinting slightly
How to cause this:
Let her find photos of you and your ex girlfriend. If this doesn't work, tell her about the time you got drunk and pissed in her closet.
3. FEAR:
eyes open wide, eyebrows slightly raised, corners of the mouth
are pointing slightly downward
How to cause this:
Pick up the phone and say "Hey Diablo, I heard you were getting out in a couple months... Of course you can come stay with us"
4. SARCASTIC SMILE:
mouth half-open, eyes slightly squinting
How to cause this:
"I'm going to the library"
5. OBLIGATORY SMILE:
mouth corners are pointed in different
directions, lopsided smile
How to cause this:
Have your mom over for dinner
6. DERISION:
lips shut, eyes squinting
How to cause this:
Tell her that there is no point in staying in that cute bed and breakfast
when Joe's Budget Inn is 80 bucks cheaper
7. ASKING NICELY
lifted eyebrows, trembling chin
How to cause this:
Promise to do something, then change your mind.
8. PLEADING
wrinkled forehead, lips slightly open,
eyes wet
How to cause this:
Promise the same thing... then change your mind
9. BAFFLED ANGER
one eye squinted, jaw forward
How to cause this:
Tell her that you and your new secretary have a lot in common. And she used to
work at Hooters!
10. CONFUSION
eyes wide open, mouth slightly open
How to cause this:
Tell her that you bought her a car, it's a stick shift (manual transmission)
11. DEEP HATRED
face muscles frozen
How to cause this:
Tell her "No of course you don't look fat in that dress, but you COULD stand to lose a few pounds"
12. HUMBLE SUBMISSION
mouth closed, one eyebrow slightly raised
How to cause this:
As yet unknown, but comment if you think you know
--The Dude--
5 komentet:
Kind of funny, the last one. I realize you're doing stereotypes, but the wiping your mouth on your shirt and the manual transmission won't work on me. I do the shirt thing (and irritate my boyfriend) and I own a manual.
The last... "unknown," because I don't think it exists. ;p
I can only imagine that the last one would require some sort of drug (possibly an illegal one).
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