A Lesson in Facial Recognition from The Dude
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1. CONTEMPT
brow and upper lip lifted
How to cause this:
It doesn't take much. Wipe your mouth on your shirt, that should do it.
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2. CONTROLLED ANGER
tightly shut lips, flared nostrils, eyes squinting slightly
How to cause this:
Let her find photos of you and your ex girlfriend. If this doesn't work, tell her about the time you got drunk and pissed in her closet.
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3. FEAR:
eyes open wide, eyebrows slightly raised, corners of the mouth
are pointing slightly downward
How to cause this:
Pick up the phone and say "Hey Diablo, I heard you were getting out in a couple months... Of course you can come stay with us"
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4. SARCASTIC SMILE:
mouth half-open, eyes slightly squinting
How to cause this:
"I'm going to the library"
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5. OBLIGATORY SMILE:
mouth corners are pointed in different
directions, lopsided smile
How to cause this:
Have your mom over for dinner
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6. DERISION:
lips shut, eyes squinting
How to cause this:
Tell her that there is no point in staying in that cute bed and breakfast
when Joe's Budget Inn is 80 bucks cheaper
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7. ASKING NICELY
lifted eyebrows, trembling chin
How to cause this:
Promise to do something, then change your mind.
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8. PLEADING
wrinkled forehead, lips slightly open,
eyes wet
How to cause this:
Promise the same thing... then change your mind
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9. BAFFLED ANGER
one eye squinted, jaw forward
How to cause this:
Tell her that you and your new secretary have a lot in common. And she used to
work at Hooters!
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10. CONFUSION
eyes wide open, mouth slightly open
How to cause this:
Tell her that you bought her a car, it's a stick shift (manual transmission)