Q&A

Advice from "The Dude"

There are many questions that women ask as to what to do for a man. The male population has come up with a list of answers to frequently asked questions. This may prove helpful to the woman who may be in the dark regarding her mate.

Question: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. What do I do?

Answer: Obviously, your husband can not get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing - your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can only bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roomates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure, then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it.

Question: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. What do I do?

Answer: This is perfectly natural behavior and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away a day or two (it's a great time to clean up the house, too!). Just look how emotional and happy he is when he returns to a stable home. The best thing to do when he returns home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal.

Question: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.

Answer: Your clitoris is no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it do it on your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to video tape yourself while doing this and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal.

Question: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.

Answer: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests of foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal.