Reader Mail
This is a question that The Dude received from a reader. The Dude is a very knowledgeable blogger and decided that everyone could benefit from his advice...
So, Dude, I wanted to ask your professional opinion about something. My sister has our 16 y/o (eek!) nephew staying over for the summer and WE ALL have noticed that he is constantly grabbing his junk bag when he's talking. I mean, I grew up around a lot of brothers and I don’t EVER remember any of them doing that!! It's a private joke between us girlies that he's suffering from "Itchy Ballyitis"...My question is, should anyone approach him about this? It's so not cool!! I told my sister to give him a pamphlet on male STD's from the local Planned Parenthood ['cause you never know] but she thinks that would be f-ed up. Opinion? I'm laughing again...its just SOOO unbecoming!!
--Somegirl--
Well Somegirl,
You being a bleeder and all, I wouldn't expect you to understand the age old tradition of checking the baggage. This is a rite that has been passed from father to son since way before biblical times.
Now for some history. Itchacus Scratchacus was the first recorded ball massager. He was known for constantly having his hand down his pants. Someone finally suggested to Itchacus that his wife Ho-Rae-Me had been sleeping around on him with his cousin Longschlong. So it appears that this scenario of itchy ballytis (good diagnosis by the way) was caused by infidelity, and therefore will be linked to VD.
However, not all cases are the same as Itchacus's. Jock itch could be a possible cause. Try some medicated powder. For laughs, make him buy it at the first Walgreens that has a hot girl around his age at the counter.
The Dudes recommendation... In The Dudes professional opinion, I don't feel there is much to worry about. He's only 16 so he probably just wants to feel down there every once-in-awhile to assure that his testicles have indeed descended. I doubt you have much to fear in the STD category. He's not of legal age, therefore it would be a virtual impossibility for him to have entered a strip club and left with a dancer (which is the cause of all The Dudes trips to the clinic).
Hope this helps you loyal blog reader. Continue reading, and don't forget to comment.
If you have a question for The Dude you can post it as a comment and if it interests me enough, it may be posted on "The Man Blog" so that everyone may benefit from The Dudes advice.
--The Dude--
So, Dude, I wanted to ask your professional opinion about something. My sister has our 16 y/o (eek!) nephew staying over for the summer and WE ALL have noticed that he is constantly grabbing his junk bag when he's talking. I mean, I grew up around a lot of brothers and I don’t EVER remember any of them doing that!! It's a private joke between us girlies that he's suffering from "Itchy Ballyitis"...My question is, should anyone approach him about this? It's so not cool!! I told my sister to give him a pamphlet on male STD's from the local Planned Parenthood ['cause you never know] but she thinks that would be f-ed up. Opinion? I'm laughing again...its just SOOO unbecoming!!
--Somegirl--
Well Somegirl,
You being a bleeder and all, I wouldn't expect you to understand the age old tradition of checking the baggage. This is a rite that has been passed from father to son since way before biblical times.
Now for some history. Itchacus Scratchacus was the first recorded ball massager. He was known for constantly having his hand down his pants. Someone finally suggested to Itchacus that his wife Ho-Rae-Me had been sleeping around on him with his cousin Longschlong. So it appears that this scenario of itchy ballytis (good diagnosis by the way) was caused by infidelity, and therefore will be linked to VD.
However, not all cases are the same as Itchacus's. Jock itch could be a possible cause. Try some medicated powder. For laughs, make him buy it at the first Walgreens that has a hot girl around his age at the counter.
The Dudes recommendation... In The Dudes professional opinion, I don't feel there is much to worry about. He's only 16 so he probably just wants to feel down there every once-in-awhile to assure that his testicles have indeed descended. I doubt you have much to fear in the STD category. He's not of legal age, therefore it would be a virtual impossibility for him to have entered a strip club and left with a dancer (which is the cause of all The Dudes trips to the clinic).
Hope this helps you loyal blog reader. Continue reading, and don't forget to comment.
If you have a question for The Dude you can post it as a comment and if it interests me enough, it may be posted on "The Man Blog" so that everyone may benefit from The Dudes advice.
--The Dude--
4 komentet:
hahahaha! I loved it!! Thanks so much for 'clearing' that up!! And you beat me to the punch, I was going to post our little exchange on my site too as soon as you responded with your ma-nolodge...Itchacus Scratchacus is the best!!!! I need to stop laughing and eating my lunch at the same time, there's no one to give me the Heimlich if i start chocking....
PS. Do you mind if I post our exchange on my site?? I was planning to link the response to your site. It won’t be anywhere near as funny as this, but you know--it's just 2funny to pass up!
Dude!! It's up (the post, I mean. I don't have the equipment to do such feats) I think you'll be satisfied with the end result...I didn't post your response---I think you should have the honor. I'm a tease that way...
LMAO. This was fantastic. :)
Thanks Dude. The new diggs are cool...I was thinking that polka-dots weren't very manly. This new blue background reminds me of an old favorite T-shirt--very Dude-esque.
PS. Is that a recent picture? I pictured beer gut and a beard...
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